Links (A.K.A Plea for help)

I am new to the blogger world. If anyone out there can suggest some reading material i would greatly appreciate it. Don't send me any fucking fluffy garbage (i don't want to read about anyones kids shitting green for the first time or to read about your fucking dog) Send me something that falls into one of the following categories:

1- Funny
2- Edgy
3- Interesting
4- Though invoking
5- Just plain wrong / inappropriate

Also special points go to anyone who can find me a site that blatantly and without shame mocks, defames, and ridicules the elderly and/or Emo kids. (more importantly Emo Kids... FUCK i hate those creepy little bastards)